5 of Your Secret Sex Questions… Answered!
It’s perfectly normal to ask questions! We all have those questions that we’re unsure about or too embarrassed to ask. Here are a few of them that frequently come up.
Q: How do I get my guy to talk dirty?
A: Dirty talk certainly makes things a lot more hot and heavy, but more often that not, guys don’t do it. Why, you ask? Well there may be a number of reasons. For instance, they might be unsure of whether or not you’d be turned on by it. Or they don’t know what to say to you. Either way, you need to start off by having a talk outside of the bedroom. Tell him that you think dirty talk is sexy, but you notice that it may make him feel uncomfortable. This way, he’ll feel less awkward trying it out and in the back of his mind, he won’t think that you’re judging him for it. Sex therapist Michele Weiner-Davis says, “The goal is to recognize that you both can have very different triggers for passion and that’s okay. Talk with him about how you both can feel comfortable and satisfied. Though you might want to scream very racy things every time, concede that you’re willing to be silent sometimes, and suggest starting small: try asking if he’d call you a certain pet name as a gift to you.” When he finally warms up to the idea, praise him, no matter how awkward or minimal it may be. By doing so, you build up his confidence so he can gradually talk the talk instead of just walking the walk.
Q: Is there a sexy way to put on a condom without ruining the moment?
A: Though it doesn’t take long to put on a condom, the few seconds that it does take often ruin the moment. In order to minimize the awkwardness, you should definitely keep your condoms nearby (in your nightstand, for example). Furthermore, you can make putting the condom on part of your fun by incorporating it into a hand-job.
Q: Can I have sex when I have my period?
A: You definitely can, it’s just a matter of whether your guy would like to do that. If your man is concerned about trying this out, there are a few options. You can either put a dark colored towel under your hips to make clean-up easier, or you can insert an Instead Soft Cup. The Instead Soft Cup “inserts like a diaphragm and seals against your vaginal wall to collect menstrual blood and keep it away from him.” If he’s still worried, tell him that it could definitely make things more fun. Having your period gives you extra lubrication that might spice things up a bit.
Q: How can I get my ex out of my head when I’m in bed with my new man?
A: Don’t worry, this problem is fairly common, so there’s absolutely no need to feel guilty. Women subconsciously compare their men during sex; it’s just what we do. This does not mean that you’re sleeping with or dating the wrong guy, it’s just your way of idealizing your old fling. In order to forget your ex, Dr. Haltzman suggests “shifting that intensity you’re feeling about your ex .. spice things up in your relationship. Steal away to the broom closet together, ride a roller coaster, or even sign up to volunteer at a bake sale. Any new experience has the potential to reignite your bond — and to help you remember why you find your guy so damn sexy.”