Exes on Facebook: What’s Appropriate and What’s Not
By Amy Lauren
Our generation is becoming more and more defined by social media. We can’t remember a time when we didn’t have a Facebook and our day is not complete unless we’ve checked our newsfeed for updates from our many, many friends. Facebook is a great way to connect with our buddies, but this website also holds many unfortunate pitfalls when dealing with an ex-boyfriend. Navigating these hazards can be tricky, so here are some simple things to keep in mind.
1. It’s okay to un-friend someone after a break-up if you feel it is necessary, but this is a decision that you must stick with. You should not be re-friending and un-friending him every other day because that just makes it harder to you and for the guy to put everything behind you and move on.
2. Likewise, it’s fine to stay friends with an ex over Facebook as long as you can both exercise civility towards each other’s respective walls. Just stay away from pointed status updates that are clearly directed at him. Don’t put him down because that will just make you look immature and make him realize that he is still on your mind. But keep in mind: if he’s the one being the online jerk, don’t sink to his level. Just unfriend him and never look back!
3. Moving on to the ever-so-crucial relationship status. Nobody feels good changing their “In a Relationship” to “Single,” but as they say, it’s not official until it’s Facebook official. Whether you decide to list yourself as single or as nothing at all, stand by your choice. Again, this is something that you shouldn’t be flip-flopping on. And also, it is highly recommended that the dreaded “It’s Complicated” be avoided at all costs. Relationship trouble should be kept personal because really, what’s airing it all over the web going to do to solve it?
4. Don’t use Facebook to try to prove a point or make him jealous. He’ll recognize it because he probably has thought of doing or has done something similar! Being tagged in pictures from a raging party, hanging all over a bunch of guys, two days after the split won’t make you look fun, but kind of cold and not very classy. This doesn’t mean you should wallow in self-pity, but just like in your real life, your Facebook needs time to heal.
The important thing to remember is that once something is online, you can’t take it back, be it a rude status or a less-than-flattering picture. Everyone has access to it, from an ex, to an acquaintance, a family member, or a potential employer. Keep the drama offline because in a lot of cases, that’s where it starts!
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